Are You a People Pleaser?
Do you call yourself a people pleaser? Or at least identify with the phrase?
If you’re anything like me, you might not even be sure what you are. You have lived your life according to what others’ desired of you and wanted to the point that you don’t even know who or what you are…
Let me help you see if you are a people pleaser, and what that even means…
You might be a people pleaser if:
- You put everyone’s needs above your own
- You have a hard time putting yourself on your priority list
- You care deeply about other people’s opinions
- You feel scared to speak your truth and share what’s on your mind
- You want everyone to be happy
- You feel guilty taking care of yourself
- You try to avoid conflict at all costs
- You compromise your desires to make others happy
- You allow others to take advantage of you
- You stay in relationships that aren’t serving you
- You worry a lot
- You are indecisive and ask for others’ opinions about everything
I get it.
I have lived most of my life as a perpetual people pleaser. (it takes one to know one, right?).
I have been so worried about what people would think of me, my body, my clothes, what I wanted to say, and how I wanted to spend my time and money, that I didn’t express myself.
I put my opinions, my ideas, and my desires on the back burner.
I lived in fear of failure, of rejection, and wanted to make everyone around me happy.
Have you ever felt like that?
If you’re reading this article, I’m going to assume that you are a people pleaser and want to STOP.
Here’s my best advice as to why you are a people pleaser and how to stop.
You Were NOT Born a People Pleaser!
Being a people pleaser is usually a learned habit from a young age.
You were NOT born with it.
You were actually born to be the opposite of a people pleaser.
If you watch any baby, you will see that they are not here to please you or anyone but themselves… they are inherently selfish or self-serving. They know what they want and know how to get it. As a mother of 6, I know and can easily say that BABIES ARE SOME OF THE MOST SELFISH PEOPLE YOU’LL EVER MEET!
I know that sounds weird.
We don’t usually think of babies as selfish. I mean, they don’t know any better, right?
Yet, if we stick with what everyone has taught us since we were little, being “selfish” is one of the worst characteristic traits we can adopt as humans.
Or is it?
Maybe our babies are some of our best teachers if we take the time to observe what they do?
Are Babies People Pleasers?
Babies are some of the happiest humans on the planet, and they make everyone around them happy as well.
Making everyone around you happy is a characteristic of a people pleaser. But being selfish isn’t. So are babies people pleasers or not?
Think about it.
Why are we all so happy around babies?
Do babies make you happy by running around serving you? Are they smiling to make you smile? Do they put off their needs and wants to make you happy?
They smile because it gives them more of our attention and that makes THEM happy.
They cry, scream, throw tantrums, and make us miserable when we are not meeting their needs or giving them our undivided attention.
I’d even go so far as to say that they are the OPPOSITE of people pleasers.
You see, there is a difference between being a people pleaser and pleasing people.
How then do babies “please” or make others happy?
The Secret Babies Know About People Pleasing
Babies make others’ happy because THEY ARE HAPPY FIRST.
That is one of the biggest secrets of happiness. When we are living our truth and being who we came here to be, we actually make others around us happy. When we are happy in our own skin and with how we are spending our time, we naturally attract more happiness to us.
When we live true to ourselves and our own needs, we are happiest.
We all knew that when we came into this world, but at some point we forget it. We learn that we are not the center of our universe and that our needs are not as important as fitting in or making someone else (esp. authority figures) happy.
In school we are taught to conform. To try and act, be, and see things the same way as everyone else. To make our teachers and parents happy by getting good grades, staying in line, keeping our mouths closed, etc.
At home we are shown what is right and wrong. We are commended for pleasing our parents and scolded when we don’t do as we are told.
Our churches have us check off a list of requirements in order to be worthy and “clean.”
We have laws to help us obey and to keep us safe.
But all of these things are doing nothing for our self-esteem.
They are teaching us to PLEASE everyone BUT OURSELVES.
People Pleasing Robs You of Your Joy
When we please others by compromising what we really want and becoming someone we weren’t meant to be…
WE GROW UNHAPPY.
We can only please everyone and their dog for so long before we begin to feel resentful, used, and underappreciated.
We know deep down (that baby instinct) that we are meant for more, but we are so busy trying to fit in and please others that we allow ourselves to become door mats. We learn to put ourselves on the back burner and put off our happiness for someday.
Well friend, it is time for you to reclaim the confidence and self-knowing you had when you were born.
Let Go of Your People Pleaser Ways & Learn to Please People By Being YOU
It is time to learn how to live and speak your truth so that you can be truly happy.
When you are truly happy, you will make everyone else in your world happier… just like a baby.
You can please people without being a people pleaser.
You do that by first pleasing YOURSELF and becoming/revealing the light you were meant to be.
When you become the fullest expression of yourself…
When you allow your joy to unfold and your story to be told…
You take control of the reigns in your life and become the star of your own show.
Remember the movie, Dirty Dancing? I love the line, “Nobody puts Baby in the corner.”
I’d like you to use that own advice on yourself and stop putting yourself in the corner.
The baby within you, the part of your soul that loves uncondionally all the time and wants to shine the light you have inside is SCREAMING to be unleashed.
If you are ready to let go of your people pleasing ways and learn how to really radiate the light you know is inside…
Please join our FREE 5-Day Challenge: The Journey Within…
Where you will:
- Learn what is holding you back from living a life you love
- Find the answers you’ve been searching for and fill the void inside
- Know your innate worth and the number one secret to becoming all you dream of being
Join now: Click Here