We all Have “Crappy Days”
Some days we can all feel like we are swimming through the mud with no end in sight. I have been there, done that. It can feel exhausting and just downright “crappy.”
After several years of being a stay-at-home mom, I started to feel like that a lot. I felt lost. I didn’t know who I was anymore, where I was going, and what I was good for. I found myself feeling underwhelmed with my contribution and longing for something more than just changing diapers and reading children’s books. It was an endless monotonous cycle of laundry, cooking, cleaning, feeding, bathing, bedtime, repeat. I couldn’t see a way out. I felt burdened by the tasks of motherhood, discouraged by the lack of “Lust” in my marriage, and unappreciated for all that I did. I was most definitely stuck in a rut and trapped in negative thinking. Mostly, I was just sick and tired of all the crappy days and feeling like a failure. (see my post: Mom, You are NOT Failing for more).
Raising five children, I have had my fair share of crap-filled days. And when I’m referring to “crap” for this blog post, I’m being literal! I’ve changed more diapers than I could count. Though I’ve learned, that changing diapers is better than other things. Take for example, the stage when some of my children decided it was more fun to take their diapers off and poop in the air conditioning vent of the house we rented at the time. I was literally up to my elbows in feces and it stunk.
I was overjoyed when my youngest child started potty-training, it was a new sense of freedom for me. I thought all my “crappy” days would disappear.
There is a Silver Lining- the Crappy Days Don’t Have to Last Forever
Now that my youngest is 7 and I have grown out of the diaper days, I look back with gratitude for those days. Boy how I wish I knew then, what I know now. I have finally learned how to have joy even on the crappy days, and NO, they haven’t disappeared.
Take yesterday, for instance. I went to clean our 4 bathrooms, and found that one stunk so bad I had to hold my breathe (even though I just cleaned it a few days ago and we all use it regularly). After a few breathless moments, I discovered the source of the stink- one of my lovely children had gone number two and then instead of flushing the t-p down the drain, decided to put it in the bathtub (one that we never use) and cover it with a big package of new toilet paper. What??? I think they might have even peed on it for good measure. I was grossed out! Next, I went to my teenagers bathroom and found about 7 soiled towels on the floor- not from their shower, but from a toilet that had a apparently overflowed a few days prior, and they left it there and closed the door to hide the smell. Gross!! The third bathroom and even the master bath had also been violated by “little” ones. Double Gross!
Even a few months ago stunts like this would’ve thrown me over the edge . Seriously, I would’ve completely lost my cool and yelled at my kids like a madwoman. I would’ve looked like a two-year-old having a tantrum. Sadly, that was normal for me, for many years of motherhood. I hate not having a clean house and certainly don’t like it when it stinks and no one helps out. However, using my new found power of positing thinking, I took it in stride, laughed it out and moved on. I want to teach you how to do the same. This article can help get you started (plus is has a freebie for you to download that will help you become the patient parent you want to be): How to Stop Yelling at Your Kids
Look on the Bright Side
I’ve been learning a lot about the power of our minds and thoughts lately and would like to share an insight I had recently.
As I was meditating (to learn how/why I do this: How to Meditate for Beginners or How Meditation is Good for You), I was thinking about what it really meant to “look on the bright side”. It came to my mind that the natural opposite of “the bright side” would be the “dim or dark side.” However, as I lay there with my eye mask on, basking in the serenity of the complete darkness of the early morning, I couldn’t help but realize that I loved the darkness. So I started trying to think of something that I didn’t like as much as brightness or darkness. I thought about brown.
Haha, I’m sure you can guess what images came to mind while thinking of that color. Especially since I’ve already talked at length about it. I then thought about dirt. I have never been one to play in the mud or enjoy getting dirty, it is messy and hard to clean. Yep, feces and dirt were about the grossest most opposite of “bright” things that I could think of.
However, as I pondered on these two dirty and gross things, I realized that they were both very necessary ingredients for life!
We Need the Brown Things (aka crappy) to Live
I put manure in my garden soil in the spring because it fertilizes my garden and helps the vegetables and fruit grow really well. Without dirt, we could have no food to eat, for we couldn’t plant seeds or have anything in which to grow things. Dirt forms the foundation of almost every flower and tree in the world. Without it, our lives would not have the beauty of roses, daffodils or lilacs. We would not have the needed oxygen and food to live and to breathe.
The very act of going number two allows our bodies to release unwanted toxins and things that we do not need. It is a sign that our bodies are functioning properly and healthfully. Our bowel movements can give us clues to our health and help us know that we are treating our bodies right.
Being able to change diapers means that I have babies, and that means I have brought life to the world, and what a blessing that is. I wouldn’t trade it for the world.
As I pondered about how much the “brown” things in life do for us, I became more and more fascinated by the idea that we need the stinky and dirty things in our lives. They give our lives flavor, fertilize our faith, and allow beauty to grow. They feed our souls the nutrients we need to appreciate the wonders of life. Without the bitter, we could never taste the sweet. Without the brown, we couldn’t appreciate the bright. Experiencing the crap truly does help us appreciate the good a lot more. To read more about how to improve our lives with simple things like positive thinking, click here: 30 Insanely Simple Ways to Improve Your Life Right Now!
So next time you are faced with the choice of “looking on the bright side” OR reacting to the “brown side”, realize that in the end, everything is the bright side. Everything that happens to us is for our good. If we look for it, we can find the reason behind every crappy thing that happens and soon be grateful for it. There is only good, if we have the eyes and hearts to see it! Seeing life through this lens, gives us hope for a bright new day!
How do you personally look on the bright side when the going gets “crappy?” Please share your comments and thoughts with us! We love to hear from our readers!