A few years ago I started noticing a disease even more prominent than the flu but NO ONE WAS TALKING ABOUT…
It was in nearly every family I met.
Teenagers were spreading it like drugs and crushes.
Workplaces were in panic about it and always talking about the person in the next room that had it.
Then I got it too.
It was the kind of illness that made me feel sick to my stomach, want to dry heave, and made my head spin.
It made me want to quit what I was doing, go hide inside my bed and sometimes never want to wake up.
It was worse than any virus or illness I’d ever had, but it creeped in so slowly I hardly noticed.
I couldn’t go to the doctor because they’d think I was nuts.
My husband told me it was all in my head. He is a doctor, so when he gave me the following diagnosis, I knew he was right.
I was plagued with a terrible case of comparitis.
Have you ever heard of it?
It’s that feeling you get when someone:
☑️looks like they have all their ducks in a row, and you don’t
☑️has the “perfect” life from all social appearances (while you’re struggling just to survive)
☑️gets the promotion or praise that you felt was meant for you
☑️writes the book that you wanted to write, so you might as well not even try anymore
☑️looks so fit and healthy that you secretly want to binge on ice cream and eat yourself sick to feel better.
Yep. I had a bad case of COMPAR-ITIS.
I never felt good. Okay, I probably felt good physically, but mentally I was a basket case.
I felt like a loser, a failure, a horrible mother, and a stressed-out hot mess.
Comparing myself to others highlight reels, not getting the likes or comments I wanted to feel validated, and not reaching my goal weight had me down in a bad way.
This was worse than the flu or any virus that comes and goes…
Because this comes and then doesn’t go. Instead, I watched it grow.
It festered inside me like a tumor, getting bigger and more damaging every time I succumbed to the symptoms.
Unfortunately, just as when we learn a new word and then hear it all the time, the more aware I became of the symptoms, the more astonished I was by the glaring epidemic all around me!
My children were experiencing it, and they don’t even have social media yet!
My friend wrote a book, “Dying to Win” about how kids are getting pressured more and more to beat the competition and measure up. This tendency to compare our kids to each other and see how they do on tests, in athletics, etc. is actually increasing the suicide rate among our youth.
I realized that I was sick. But I was not the only one!
Children act out when they need something. So do adults.
I was sick of acting out, so I began to act IN. I looked inside and what I found was amazing.
I knew I had to change. I had to be my own doctor, and that when I found the cure (because I would!), I’d share it with everyone I possibly could!
If I was going to overcome my need to compare myself to others, I needed to figure out why I was doing so… you know, get to the ROOT OF THE PROBLEM.
So, I dug deep.
I found that at my roots, I was entangled in the need to please others and get their approval of me to feel good.
In short, I lacked self-love. I esteemed myself as no good, not worthy of love or approval, and like I would never measure up.
I think that the lack of self-love is quite possibly the biggest epidemic of our time. It is the root cause behind nearly every misdeed or crime committed (think about that long and hard).
This realization was disturbing.
Could it possibly be that easy and obvious, yet so incredibly hard at the same time?
Would learning how to love ourselves unconditionally really provide the cure for comparitis and so many other problems in our society?
Yes. Yes it would!
I researched how to love and accept myself without needing validation or acceptance from others.
What I found was life changing.
I now feel confident in my skin. I am a published author. I love to speak on public stages. I enjoy doing Facebook lives…. all things that would’ve filled me with terror and that you couldn’t have paid me a million bucks to do just a year or two ago.
Want to learn how I did it?
It’s simple! And it’s all in my new book, The 10-Minute Refresh for Moms: Less Stress, More Joy
My husband and I have also put together a 21-day challenge to help you get over your comparitis bug! Want in? We start January 15th, and I’m so so excited to help you love you! check it out here: 21 Day Challenge
For those of you wanting actionable tips you can use today to start loving yourself and helping your children do the same, Read These:
What do you find the negative voices in your mind are saying to you?