You know that feeling when you’ve been working on something important or have a million tabs open on your computer and the screen freezes and that annoying circle keeps circling over and over, and you have to refresh it?
Well many people are living their lives the same way.
We live in perpetual survival mode: overwhelmed, stressed out, and exhausted. We can feel like our lives resemble Groundhogs day- on repeat and not very fulfilling.
Mothers especially feel burned out and out of control because we spend so much of our time, energy and resources pouring into everything and everyone that we put ourselves on the back burner and postpone our joy. We think that “someday” we will have time for pursuing our passions and doing the things that make us happy.
I know because for years I was a stressed-out hot mess. I felt perpetual guilt, self-doubt, and like I wasn’t “good enough.”
This is because, like so many others,I believed that self-care was selfish.
But you know what? That is a LIE!!!
I am here to tell you 2 things that every person needs to know about self-care:
1) Self-care is NOT selfish it is an act of public service!
When you do the things that fill your cup and bring you joy, you can overflow into the ones you love rather than boiling over or running on fumes.
So many moms I know feel so exhausted and drained (from pouring from an empty cup) that they lash out and yell at their kids and loved ones (speaking from personal experience here). That makes them feel guilty and like a “bad mom” or person.
We can beat ourselves up and start a cycle of perpetual self-bullying and neglect. This is not the way that any of us want to show up for our families, loved ones, or co-workers, but when we neglect to do what brings us joy, it shows.
You know the saying, “When mama ain’t happy ain’t nobody happy?” Well its true!
Our energy and mood vibrate to those around us. If we are angry, sad, depressed, overwhelmed or worried the people in our lives pay for it, including us. When we are happy, energetic, having fun and feeling confident, it can bring similar feelings to those around us. How do you want the people in your life to feel when they are around you?
Most mothers I know really want their kids to be happy, healthy, and full of self-love and confidence. But if we are not being the role-model for such things, how are our kids supposed to learn them?
It is not your fault, mama. You’ve been doing the best you can for a long time. And it is okay. Give yourself some credit for all the sacrifices and acts of service you have done for others, and recognize that it is time to do some of those things for yourself.
The time for living your best life is right now! Stop putting off your happiness for someday. Start living in a joyful way today, and everyone around you will feel better!
Showing up filled up blesses everyone in your world and has a much bigger ripple effect than you know. Rather than feeling guilty and worn out, you feel fulfilled and overjoyed (and so do the people you love the most).
2) Is does not take long to refresh your life by practicing self-care!
In minutes you can go from feeling blah to hoorah!
My book, The 10-Minute Refresh for Moms: Less Stress, More Joy (Find it Here) teaches 10 habits that are scientifically and personally proven to take you from survival mode to thrival-mode!
I know that you are busy- we all are!
But do the things that are making you “busy” bring you so much satisfaction and joy that you can’t wait to get out of bed in the morning?
If not, it is time to evaluate the way you spend your time and start doing the things that light you up and allow you to shine!
A simple 10 minutes can prevent stress and overwhelm, and improve our health, confidence and joy! Small tweaks to our mindset, the words we use, and the way we spend our time can absolutely refresh our entire life! Instead of feeling like Groundhogs day or like a failure, you can feel great!
What would it be like if you could be the kind of role-model to your children that you want them to emulate? Would you feel different if you showed yourself some compassion and treated yourself like your own best friend instead of a bully? How do you think your life would change if you dedicated a bare minimum of 10-minutes a day to doing the things that bring you the most joy?
Mom, if you are anything like me, you have put yourself on the back burner for too long. You have been postponing your happiness and living vicariously through your kids. While that can certainly bring temporary joy, I want you to feel that way most of the time, not just some of it!
If you feel like you need help knowing how to fit self-care into your day, my book was written for you.
You might say, “Oh yeah? How do you expect me to read? I don’t even have time to shower alone!” Believe me, I get it! I didn’t read for years.
I underestimated the value that books would bring to my life. I didn’t realize how much I needed the help.
Here’s what I suggest, to get you started:
Commit to waking up 10 minutes earlier than your kids. Read for a few minutes in the morning or evening or while they are sleeping. (soon I’ll have my audio book available too so you can just listen).
I have broken the book up into bite-sized sections so that you can read one little section a day and feel like you are making progress. Learning something and taking even a few minutes of action a day, toward any goal (like reading a book), is a great way to invest in YOU and feel better about yourself.
Big goals and dreams are achieved a few minutes or hours at a time (so are little ones). Even if you move a pebble a day, you are doing more than if you spent that time scrolling through social media or playing an addictive game (yep, more personal experience).
What have you got to lose?
Self-doubt or guilt?
What could you gain?
Becoming your own best friend and cheerleader!
Give me 10-minutes and I’ll give you your life back! Seriously! It’s worked for me and countless others!
If you want more articles like this, check these out:
What are your biggest time-wasters? Your biggest dreams or goals? Your excuses for not pursuing them? Let me know in the comments!