The Happiest Moms Know These 3 Secrets About Self-Care

Is Taking a Bubble Bath Really Self-Care?

Self-care has been a hot topic lately and has been getting a lot of flack.

I have read or seen many articles about self-care that include tips like lighting a scented candle or taking a bubble bath. Those might be good for some people, but for others they might not fit the bill. Smelling good can help make us feel good, or it can just mask the stink we feel inside. It depends on you.

We all have differences of opinion, so don’t judge another person if they don’t feel quite as calm after a bubble bath and floral-scented flickering flames as you do. Judging others just makes you feel worse For More About What Judging Others Does to You Read this.

For some lighting a candle and listening to good music is great self-care. Others claim they don’t even have time for such things.

I’d like to discuss what self-care really is and why it is essential for each and every person no matter how “busy” they are.

What is Self-Care Really?

My definition: Taking good care of yourself.

Period.

And that looks different for every person, although there are some foundational pieces that everybody needs.

Taking good care of yourself includes the following essentials:

• Taking the time to nourish your soul.
• Fueling your body with healthy food and drink
• Preventing stress and disease

Let’s quickly discuss each of these foundational aspects of self-care:

1. Taking Time to Nourish Your Soul

   1. Each person has a natural well-spring of knowledge and well-being inside of them. When we take the time to tap into our inner being and follow our natural instincts, we feel more at peace and receive inspiration as to how to spend our time and whom to spend it with.
   2. For me, nourishing my soul means taking time each day to meditate, pray, spend quality time in nature, and to read. I do these things every single day without fail. It doesn’t have to take any more than 20 minutes total, but those things help me tune-in to the higher power that I have inside. You have the same resources within, if you take the time to get to know yourself and listen to your body and your mind. You can learn more about this Here
   3. Each person will find they are attracted to different things. Some might be moved by orchestral music and scripture, while others like rock-bands and big parties. Your soul might be moved by beautiful art, or by creating your own masterpieces. It doesn’t matter what moves you, so long as you find out what it is and do it as often as possible. This could be writing, reading, sewing, dancing, teaching, or myriad others things. Find what lights you up, and do it!

2. Fueling Your Body With Healthy Food & Drink

   1. Whether you like it or not, what you eat makes a difference in how you feel. If you’ve heard the saying, “you are what you eat” you might be a little fearful when eating things like fried food and donuts. I am a huge advocate of an 80/20 lifestyle. That means I subscribe to eating healthy foods (ie: green vegetables and fiber/protein rich foods) 80% of the time, so I don’t feel guilty or wrong for eating donuts or potato chips 20% of my time.
   2. Your body is much like a vehicle. It will perform better when you give it the best fuel. If you were to put gasoline in a diesel engine, your vehicle would die. So many of us are doing similar things to our bodies. We are pumping our guts full of sugar, fat, and nicotine and then wondering why they aren’t performing optimally for us. Becoming more mindful of what you eat and when, you will find you have more energy and a lot less sickness. (for more info on what to eat and drink, Read This )
   3. What you drink also plays a huge role in how you feel. Since our bodies are mostly made of water, we need to make sure that we are staying hydrated and drinking enough water every day. You can drastically improve your health by simply replacing one can of soda a day with a glass of water. Your urine should be a light yellow color… if it’s bright yellow, you need more water.

3. Preventing Stress & Disease

   1. Along with fueling your body with high quality food and drink, you need to do the same thing for your mind. I suggest reading things that bring you peace, allow your mind to expand, or bring you greater understanding. I love personal development books, inspirational blogs, and even scriptures to inspire me.
   2. When we take the time to let go of grudges, painful past experiences, or long-held limiting beliefs, we alleviate pain in our bodies. Our bodies are made of energy, and when the energy gets stuck inside us (through a negative experience or unwillingness to forgive, etc.) we get sick. Allowing energy to move freely within us prevents disease and alleviates stress. You can do this with simple deep breathing and meditation techniques ( You can read more about how do to that Here )
   3. Knowing that you are in control of your thoughts and can choose to take responsibility for everything that happens in your life frees you from stress and pain. I know this sounds backwards, but you get to choose how you react to everything. Instead of playing the part of victim and seeing everything as everyone else’s fault, you can choose a different perspective. For me, when I took responsibility for my kids missing the bus, or being late for something, I was able to plan better in the future and therefore alleviate a lot of stress.

At this point you might be thinking, “This is all great in theory, but what’s the point?” Let me share what I have learned about how self-care improves our lives…

WHY it is Imperative to Practice Self-Care Daily

So often, we feel guilty or selfish when we take any time or spend any money on ourselves.

If I had a microphone and could scream anything to the entire world it would be this:

“Taking care of yourself is NOT SELFISH, it is imperative! When you show-up filled-up to the world, you shine your light in a way that improves everything and everyone around you!”

We would never put our kids on the back burner and say that we don’t have time to take good care of them. We don’t feel guilty buying them new things and making sure that they get enough sleep, food, or time together. We take them to the doctor when they are sick yet find it hard to make an appointment for ourselves.

If You Are Too Busy To Take Care of Yourself, WHY?

First of all, if you are too “busy” to take care of yourself, there is a problem.

What are you doing with your time that is so important that you place your own healthy happiness on the back burner?

Have you ever stopped and asked yourself why you do what you do? Why do you go to work? Why do you volunteer/scroll social media/workout/drink/etc? Behind every behavior and action we take, it is to get a certain feeling.

We all want to feel safe, secure, healthy, and happy. But most of our time seems to be spent securing a happy future, while neglecting a happy present.

If you don’t stop what you are doing to practice proper self-care, it will catch up with you and it won’t be pretty. 

You’ll get sick. You’ll feel burned out. You’ll despise your kids or your job or your spouse. You’ll hate yourself. You’ll feel depressed, anxious, hangry, stressed, etc. All of these feelings are rampant in our society. And they could be prevented if we would all just take some time to pamper ourselves and fill our own cups before worrying about saving the world.

No matter how many excuses you come up with as to why you can’t fit self-care into your day, it is necessary.

I know that many of us are incredibly “busy” and make up lots of excuses as to why we cannot fit self-care into our day.

I’ve done that for years. I have 6 kids all at home, most of which are involved in sports, choir, and band.

However, I have learned some happiness hacks you can fit into just 10 minutes a day and put them into a book just for you!

The 10-Minute Refresh for Moms: Less Stress, More Joy will help you know how to fit the essentials into just 10-minutes a day.  However, since so many are too busy to read, my husband and I have made a 10-day video series to help you get the main points from the book without having to read it! You can find the link to the videos: HERE

Remember, “When mama ain’t happy ain’t nobody happy”. Well, that saying goes for EVERYONE.

When we aren’t happy, it seems next to impossible to make others happy. You can’t give what you don’t have. If you don’t have time, energy, love, or joy, how on earth do you expect to give those things to others?

Taking time for yourself regularly is crucial for your well-being, for your family, and for everyone in your life.

So next time you feel guilty, selfish, or bad for taking care of yourself, remember that you are filling your cup so that you can help the world in your own unique way. You are in essence, performing an act of public service.

I’d love to know:  What do you do to fill your cup? What takeaways do you have from reading this article?

For our FREE 10-Day Video Series on How to 10X Your Happiness Click Here